Arranged marriages in India

When we heard that still 75% of marriages are arranged by the families we were in shock. How it is possible that in 2010, this outdated way of putting people together exists? Well, at the end of the month traveling in India, and understanding a little bit more the reasons, we kind of changed opinions.

In other countries, people choose who to marry by their selves and based sometimes in short term outlook, mainly physical attraction. But in recent years most of marriages end before 10 years of relationship (Scientists say passion lasts 2 years). In India, it’s very rare to see divorces, why?

First of all, it’s a group decision, the family of the bride and the family of the groom depending on their position and future plans, will try to search for the best option.
It’s not a selection based in the looks of the person, something that for sure will change in a few years, but in the good things and work that the person can add to the marriage.

One huge difference is that as the selection is not self made but made by the family (including the son or daughter who now are able to see pictures in advance), this means that if in any case the couple has any problem, financial, personal, physical, both families will support the couple, so chances of a problem ending the marriage are slimmer.
And what’s that of the family of the bride paying the groom for their daughter? Is that undervalued a woman that fathers have to pay to get acceptance? It’s just bad perception of us westerns.

The father, used to giving his daughter a good and comfortable life, wants her to maintain her conditions in marriage or even enhance them, so he will help the young groom with a little money while he begins to earn more, so that way the bride will not have worst conditions than living with the family. Nice isn’t it?

So when a man and a woman get together in India, they know it’s for a lifetime, they have their families support for any problem or claim, it’s a society where everyone has to put their best, and as there are not more options available (western choice of divorcing and changing), they make it work. Old tradition but a lot to learn from it.